All of us get to this point in our life or are there right now. I personally feel like a gum has stuck in my shoe and all efforts to remove it are proving futile. So what do I do? Like any other normal human being, I sigh in frustration and keep on moving. Just telling myself that the gum will get out by itself with time.

I hope by now you are getting my drift. At one point or another in our lives, we feel stagnant. Be it in our jobs or careers, relationships, spiritual lives ……. The list is endless. I have many occasions I’ve felt this way. Even as I share this post,I honestly don’t know what next. I was at war with myself since I didn’t know what to write, how to even write and what people will think about my writing. In short, we tend to overthink things before we do it. As a new parent, its scary knowing that you brought a new life in this world with no manual on how to raise this precious, fragile little one and yet somehow we still manage to navigate through. Heck!Some of us even end up being great at it.

Moral of my story, none of us have all the answers to any situation. If your torn between staying in that unfulfilling job just to pay bills at the end of the month or following your passion which has no immediate prospects of finances or choosing a man who brings a sense of stability versus a man you love who is struggling with little to offer or leaving all your friends and family to relocate to a new place just to have new beginnings or soldering on with your business that has been making losses continuously or calling it a day……

I’m not sure where you fit in. All I can tell you is go for it. Deep down, we all have the answers to this questions we ask yet we seem scared to follow our hearts but rather follow the society. We are so scared of living life at our own terms that we prefer the society’s notion of how to live our lives. Lets keep in mind that life is not a rehearsal, apart from Lazarus who had a second go at it, none of us has another lifetime to try what we felt we should have done. Therefore, don’t be afraid to piss off a few people in order to follow your heart. Be it your parents or family ( Respectfully of course), sometimes the decisions we make might  not sit well with them but take that bold move and do it.

I guarantee you that you will get burnt in the process but as a parent, my proudest moment will be when my kids will take their own paths in life and get fulfilled. That feeling beats everything. Living life in your own terms and enjoying it no matter what unconventional path you took to get there. Touching peoples lives in ways that you never thought, for me that is my definition of success. Most of the successful people in the world, did exactly that. Removed themselves from the conventional ways of doing things and did them at their own terms. Look at where they are now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg,Oprah,Jack Ma, the late Steve Jobs and many more.

As this week begins, have a serious talk with yourself and address these stagnant issues in your life. Start by addressing them first, that is a step in the right direction and the rest will follow. As for me, I will keep on writing what I feel and stop concentrating on perfecting my words but rather inspiring myself to be a better person, one day at a time.

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STUCK

BEAUTY

Beauty- A very simple yet complex word. I think everyone has their own definition of beauty. So many sayings but personal to each and every individual. My best definition so far- you decide what beauty is. I read this in a very nice book titled thirty things every woman should know by 30. I recommend this book to every woman. Just a summary of how the author came to this definition of beauty: She traveled to different parts of the world and being a size 6 ( I assumed) it was funny how all countries received her. In one country, she was called a prostitute due to her size, another country she was celebrated and embodied as the ideal woman, then in another country a man said she needed to add some flesh to her bones- she was too skinny. Get my drift?

Beauty is personal. Everyone has his or her own definition of beauty however the world we live in nowadays is practically shoving down our throats the “beauty ” they think it should be. We see it everyday on the papers, magazines, tv’s , churches,posters, schools, text books movies and the list goes on. It is apparent that sex does sell and it is embedded in our minds that beauty comes with sex somehow. It breaks my heart when I see women going at fatal rates to obtain this ” beauty ” thinking that the society will be more accepting to them and they will definitely have it easy in life. In our country- Kenya a lot of ladies have decided to go the Michael Jackson way- No pun intended to achieve beauty. How sad. A joke was once made that in Hollywood alot of celebrities will miss their places in heaven because they will be unrecognizable due to their body alterations.

I am beautiful. Beauty is from within, not without. The moment anyone realizes this, it doesn’t matter how the outside is, people will see your beautiful heart and it transforms you as a whole individual no matter the circumstances. My story is a funny one- please don’t laugh but growing up, I was just the normal size any teenager should be. Though I had older siblings, I tended to look more mature for my age and always ended up getting way older boyfriends than me ( I was a looker). Now fast forward and in my thirties, after being married and having two babies, I am now obese. 100 kgs weight being a 6’7 is no joke. I have actually come to embrace my body more than my lightest years and dammit- I sure look good. I feel sexy, I look fuller and everyone keeps appreciating how gorgeous I look. I actually don’t believe that at my heaviest, I love and appreciate myself more than when I was fitter. I go to the gym and lots of ladies ask why I want to loose weight yet I look awesome- I do ask myself the same question sometimes as well but I remember its my health I’m looking after, I SIGH!

All the celebrities women want to chase after from musicians to actresses have serious body flaws you wont believe it. I do watch reality shows and I came to discover that even the Kardashians with all the plastic surgeries available to them, they have huge insecurities about their bodies. Look at Beyonce, she too has issues. This is just but to name but a few and it sure makes me appreciate and love me with all my curves and edges. Ladies, no man should affirm your beauty, you need to know that man or no man- you are gorgeous. For any man out there, I know you also have issues deep down and some of you feel ashamed to bring it out but you don’t need a woman to make you whole or bring up your self esteem. You are beautiful. From the first day you took your first breath when you came to this world, naked as you were , you were the most beautiful gift your parents could have ever hoped for. You still are.

If you asked me what beauty is right now: being alive, having a wonderful family, having true friends in my life, having my children who mean the world to me, having a partner who fulfills me, my beautiful country Kenya and all the people in it but above all Love is beautiful. God is love and that is the epitome of beauty for me. God is my all in all, I cant express more but I am definate that his love endures forever. What is your definition of beauty? Please embody it!

 

BEAUTIFUL

CAN PAIN BE GOOD

I know that look. Can pain and good be in the same sentence really? So ironic -right? well let me give you a short story about my experience.

I currently work for an aviation company and everyone had to do medical exams since there was a medical camp. Anything to remind me of how unhealthy I am ain’t my cup of tea but it was mandatory. So, not wanting to blemish my otherwise clean probation record( I was new in the job), I set out for all the tests in the morning.

After waiting for some few minutes, I had my turn and went through the normal tests : blood pressure,weight,eyesight…. and the list continues. I was amazed at how grown men were afraid of needles. I had so much fun mocking some of them seeing they were my colleagues, it was so hilarious. I was shocked as I even got my teeth checked and that is where my misery begun. I was slapped with 2 teeth removals, 5 teeth fillings and an overall cleaning of my teeth recommendation! I must say I wasn’t shocked having experienced some teeth discomfort a while back but just ignoring it. The dentist emphasized on the urgency for the procedures since he said they would spread to other teeth if not treated. That was the last nail on the coffin. So I decided that I would start the procedures asap to avoid any further damage. The most urgent being the tooth removals, I booked an appointment with one of the clinics for the following day.

One month later, I was still psyching myself to go for the procedure. Please don’t give me that look. I know it was cheeky of me but it was like a cow taking herself to the slaughterhouse. I kept telling myself I would go the following day but that day never came. For once in my life, I really wished it was painful since I didn’t have anything to motivate me to go for the procedure. My husband and colleagues were irritated and it got to a point where they all threatened me. Gosh, I didn’t have any motivation at all! What scared me the most was the memory of my last procedure as it was excruciating to say the least. Being an optimist and all, I still needed a lot of convincing that this time the procedure would be slightly less painful and not having a toothache didn’t make things any easier for me. The threats finally worked. I said my prayers and went for the procedure finally.

My experience made me realize something significant in my life. Pain is actually good. Labor pains signify the beginning of a new life, storms always lead to a beautiful sunshine afterwards,the darkest time is always before the brink of dawn, I can go on and on but the amazing thing is that pain is actually necessary for you to enjoy and understand the aftermath of it. I know there is pain that can never be fully understood like losing a loved one, but the important thing is taking the lesson and making something positive out of it. Lets not focus on the why but rather what next. Its painful what Jesus had to go through but it was necessary for salvation to be attained and it served as an example to all Christians that the path is not all rosy but difficult. Just staying positive is usually the difference between a victor and a loser. Do you look at the glass as half full or as half empty? Why don’t you digest on that abit?

Still interested in knowing how my procedure finally went? I thought so. believe it or not, it was painless. I didn’t believe it myself. I know you may wonder what my threshold of pain is but I guarantee you its really high. I know firsthand what real pain is having naturally given birth to my two lovely munchkins naturally and the first born had to be induced for full dilation to occur. So it was an eye opening experience for me and I came to appreciate every little bit of it.

I am an optimist. That is one of my key selling points in my CV. When I get asked why, I simply tell the interviewer that challenging experiences make me a better employee and better equipped to handle unforeseen circumstances. Better pilots are those who have gone through life changing experiences and it makes you an optimist by experience seeing that you already have a pedestal for bench marking it.  I firmly believe that whoever came up with the saying that experience is the best teacher, had this in mind.

Nearly crossing the decade mark in my marriage, my husband and I have had to go through numerous ups and downs. Hell, if you asked me a few years back if I thought we would even peek at almost a decade, I would have laughed like when Sarah was told she would give birth past menopause. Yes I seriously would have burst in a serious fit of laughter. But the most amazing thing is every time we both cross a bridge in our lives, it would cement our union even further. That’s actually the beauty of marriage, going through experiences together and coming out victoriously makes it all worth it. Moreover, it makes you equipped to handle even harder ones ahead. I remember once joking with my husband after going through a difficult period in our lives that if we went through a worse situation, this would just be a walk in the park. This just further goes to explain why pain is actually good. Imagine a world without pain, we would never appreciate the aftermath at all.

As I wind up, I would like to encourage any and all of us going through whatever Goliaths’ in our lives. Pain is actually good. Its inevitable but how we choose to react to it is what is what matters. A fellow blogger like me made me understand first hand how he chose to ignore the pain he was going through so that he could raise funds for a greater cause. It really inspired me to rise above any situation in my life and I trust that we all can. Attitude is what matters!

Count Your Blessings

Remember the song we sang in Sunday school? “count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done” and the song continues- I’m pretty sure it’s humming in your head right now. N’way ,it’s funny how a song would be a source of strength for many of us without knowing the foundation that was laid in us when some of us could barely wipe our noses right.(Don’t give me that look).

It’s personally my source of inspiration as it grounds me to appreciate what I have (quite alot!).As human beings, it’s second nature to always complain about what we don’t have,choosing to ignore what we already have ,wondering if we had what we wanted would it add up to more joy? Happiness perhaps? Accomplishments maybe? Admiration from others? That’s for you to know and for me to find out.

My perspective?  Very simple. As much as your complaining ,someone somewhere wants a quarter of what you have and they actually deserve it way more than you do. But we rarely take a moment to count our blessings and see what God has done for us.

Your mourning a lost one?  There’s someone who has no one to mourn ,they’re just alone . They wish they had someone to mourn for . You lost your job? Someone lost a husband,wife,brother,sister or even parent yet you beat yourself up like its the end of the world.  Another job will come your way ,what about the loved one lost ? Just think about that.  I can give a list of examples but the bitter pill to swallow is we’ve all lost something or someone dear to us.  It’s life . What you do next is what matters.  Dust yourself off buddy and move on . What doesn’t break you, only makes you stronger right?

Finally, I read somewhere that there are three types of people ,the first are those those whom things happen to them. The second are those who watch things happening to others and the third, those who make things happen.  Where are you?  Contemplate about this-‘Tafakari ya babu’ as Swaleh Mdoe would have put it.  Have an awesome week 😁!!!!

 

Too much, Too Late

I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends yesterday and it gave me a whole new perspective about honesty in any relationship. We were friends with benefits before I met my husband and we had a good thing going on. No feelings but just satisfaction galore. We were both into basketball and really loved playing the game which happened to be how we actually met. That was a while back, like 5 years or so. N’way, fast forward to now and we started catching up on how we were both doing then he drops the bombshell! ” I was heartbroken when you told me you got married” He said. Now Ben- my friend, gave me the shocker of my life as I was perturbed by his revelation. “Wait a minute,did I hear you right?” came my response. “I thought we were friends with mutual benefits and definitely no strings attached?! ” I exclaimed. He further went to explain that when he was just about to come clean, I told him I was engaged already. Thus he pulled back and decided not to pursue us. I was speechless as he caught me off-guard with this information.

After absorbing the data and reflecting on it, I simply asked him why he was too casual like me and never gave any signs for wanting more than what we had going on. He said that he was afraid that if he came too strong, i would flee. His game plan was to slowly lure me and before I knew it, we would be in too deep.

His excuse made sense though I still regard it as an excuse. I believe as human beings we are usually so afraid to come and speak our minds out because of the outcome. We are so engrossed in getting hurt that we prefer the easier way of not trying at all and simply making excuses of why we didn’t pursue our dreams and watch in misery as others follow their own. If you ask me, I find this cowardly as we let our fears get in the way of realizing our destiny. Then we later start regretting and asking what if we had done it would things have gone a different way? This life is too short to start regretting. Therefore, I urge all of us to get out of our shells and have the courage to try whatever convictions we have so that we will not regret it later. This is quite evident in our current generation as young people are doing this and older people find this quite intimidating to say the least. Youngsters are not afraid of realizing their dreams because they have their lives ahead of them. Its not too late, anyone can still pursue his or her dream despite their age. Even Mzee Maruge went  back to school at 80 years of age for him to quell his thirst for education.

In conclusion, let us not wait for manner to fall from heaven but rather, get ourselves out there and be prepared for anything. My life’s mantra is to always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Having this as your armor, you can face anything and not be weary of putting yourself all out there. Think about it. As for my relationship with my friend, Its a pity but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Had he told me about his feelings, just maybe I would have considered ‘us” but honestly, I am glad I chose my husband as Ben might have held back on so many other things.